3Idiots - 2 Flashcards
(500 cards)
1
Q
add
A
Time up.
2
Q
add
A
Time up, sir.
3
Q
add
A
No one got the answer?
4
Q
add
A
Now rewind your life by a minute.
5
Q
add
A
When I asked this question, were you excited? Curious?
6
Q
add
A
Thrilled that you’d learn something new?
7
Q
add
A
Anyone? … Sir?
8
Q
add
A
No. You all got into a frantic race.
9
Q
add
A
What’s the use of such methods, even if you come first
10
Q
add
A
Will your knowledge increase? No, just the pressure.
11
Q
add
A
This is a college, not a pressure cooker.
12
Q
add
A
Even a circus lion learns to sit on a chair in fear of the whip.
13
Q
add
A
But you call such a lion ‘well trained’, not ‘well educated’
14
Q
add
A
Hello!
15
Q
add
A
This is not a philosophy class. Just explain those two words
16
Q
add
A
Sir, these words don’t exist.
17
Q
add
A
These are my friends’ names. Farhan and Raju
18
Q
add
A
Quiet!
19
Q
add
A
Nonsense! Is this how you’ll teach Engineering?
20
Q
add
A
Sir, I wasn’t teaching you Engineering.
21
Q
add
A
You’re an expert at that.
22
Q
add
A
I was teaching you… how to teach.
23
Q
add
A
And I’m sure one day you’ll learn.
24
Q
add
A
because unlike you, I never abandon my weak students.
25
add
Bye, sir.
26
add
Quiet!
27
add
Quiet, I said.
28
add
I regret to inform you that your son...
29
add
Farhan... Raju...
30
add
has fallen into bad company.
31
add
Without urgent corrective steps, his future will be ruined.
32
add
Virus's letters dropped on our homes like atom bombs.
33
add
Hiroshima and Nagasaki plunged into gloom.
34
add
Our parents invited us - for a dressing down.
35
add
Come in.
36
add
See that?
37
add
We could afford just one air-conditioner.
38
add
We put it in Farhan's room, so he could study in comfort.
39
add
I didn't buy a car. I manage with a scooter.
40
add
We put all our money into Farhan's education.
41
add
We sacrificed our comforts for Farhan's future. Understand?
42
add
You took these pictures, Farhan?
43
add
He had that useless obsession for a while.
44
add
Went around taking pictures of animals.
45
add
Wanted to be a wildlife photographer.
46
add
Son, what was your score that year?
47
add
91%
48
add
Hear that? Straight drop from 94% to 91%.
49
add
You find it funny?
50
add
No sir, sorry. I'm just amazed at the photos
51
add
Why make him an engineer... Why not a wildlife photographer?
52
add
Enough!
53
add
I humbly request you - Don't ruin my son's future.
54
add
Food's on the table, boys. C'mon.
55
add
If you ever visit again, do eat with us.
56
add
Dad denied us a meal...
57
add
So, to fill our bellies with food...
58
add
and ears with more reprimands, we reached Raju's house.
59
add
Raju's house was straight out of a 50's black and white film.
60
add
A small, dingy room...
61
add
a paralyzed father...
62
add
a coughing mother...
63
add
and an unwed sister
64
add
A sofa sprouting springs...
65
add
a 24 hour water supply - from the leaking roof.
66
add
Mother was a retired school teacher and a tireless complainer.
67
add
Father was once a postmaster.
68
add
Paralysis shut down his body partly...
69
add
his salary completely. And the sister...
70
add
Kammo's turned 28. They demand a car in dowry.
71
add
If you don't study and earn, how will she marry?
72
add
Some okra?
73
add
Okra is now 12/- per kilo, cauliflower is 10/-
74
add
It's daylight robbery!
75
add
What will we eat if we get warnings from your college?
76
add
Mom!
77
add
Cottage cheese?
78
add
Cottage cheese should be sold at the jewelers, in velvet pouches
79
add
- Cottage cheese? - No, no, it's ok.
80
add
Mom, please.
81
add
Alright, I'll shut up
82
add
Earn for the family, slave like a maid.
83
add
and then take the vow of silence.
84
add
If not with my son, with whom do I share my woes - his friends?
85
add
Hey Raju.
86
add
We were in a huge dilemma.
87
add
Do we comfort our friend or console his mom?
88
add
Screw it, we thought, let's focus on the cottage cheese.
89
add
Even his eczema cream costs 55/- now
90
add
Another roti?
91
add
No, thank you. We're through.
92
add
Okra for 12/- - Cauliflower for 10/-
93
add
At least you were offered a meal
94
add
Unlike your sadistic dad... 'Hitler' Qureshi!
95
add
And your mom is Mother Teresa... Feeding us 'eczema roti'!
96
add
- Don't poke fun at my mom! - Enough, you guys.
97
add
I'm famished. Let's eat out.
98
add
It's month end. Who'll pay? His Mother Teresa?
99
add
To eat out, you don't need money. Just a uniform. Look...
100
add
- C'mon. - Come.
101
add
Good evening, good evening.
102
add
Oh, Uncle.
103
add
#NAME?
104
add
If we're caught, we're dead.
105
add
- What's for starters? - Get double portions.
106
add
Leave this here and start some peppy music.
107
add
Pia, what the hell?
108
add
Why're you wearing this ancient piece of junk?
109
add
What'll people say - My fiancee...
110
add
a doctor in the making, wearing a cheap, 200/- watch!
111
add
Please take it off. Thank you.
112
add
Hi handsome.
113
add
Hey Aunty. You're looking good.
114
add
- Don't miss my set, darling. - Rubies?
115
add
- From Mandalay - Mandalay... Wow!
116
add
- Hey, let's go meet David. - Of course.
117
add
Excuse me.
118
add
Yes?
119
add
Flowers.
120
add
#NAME?
121
add
So you don't break it on my head
122
add
Why would I do that?
123
add
For the free advice I'll now impart
124
add
What?
125
add
Don't marry that ass
126
add
Excuse me?
127
add
He's not a human, he's a price tag.
128
add
He'll turn your life into a nightmare of brands and prices.
129
add
He'll ruin your life. Your future will be finished.
130
add
Want a demonstration?
131
add
Shall I find out the price of his shoes?
132
add
I won't ask. He'll announce it himself.
133
add
What the hell... Mint sauce on my $300 shoes!
134
add
Run for your life! It's free advice. Take it or leave it.
135
add
Genuine Italian leather - hand-stitched!
136
add
Dad, are they your guests?
137
add
My students. What're they doing here?
138
add
Hold on, Dad.
139
add
These beans smell great.
140
add
#NAME?
141
add
#NAME?
142
add
That was an eye-opener. Thank you so much.
143
add
It was my moral responsibility.
144
add
Can I ask you for little more help?
145
add
Dad won't let me break off this engagement.
146
add
You explain so well. Can you give him a demo too?
147
add
Certainly. Raju, the mint sauce
148
add
You're really sweet
149
add
#NAME?
150
add
Aal izz well
151
add
Run for your life! It's free advice. Take it or leave it
152
add
What're you doing here?
153
add
We'll hand these gifts to the couple.
154
add
I'll do that for you. It's my sister's wedding.
155
add
Sister?
156
add
Sir, what's the sum total of your daughters?
157
add
Empty. No gift cheques.
158
add
Forgot the cheques, Raju ... Farhan?
159
add
We didn't invite you, you must be from the groom's side.
160
add
No sir, we're here as the emissaries of science.
161
add
How? Can you explain?
162
add
Dad, he explains superbly. I'm sure he'll give us a demo.
163
add
Won't you?
164
add
Well, Delhi has plenty of power cuts that...
165
add
disrupt wedding celebrations.
166
add
So I thought of making an inverter that...
167
add
draws power from guests' cars.
168
add
I see.
169
add
Wow!
170
add
So where's the inverter?
171
add
Sir, the design is ready.
172
add
Where's the design, Farhan?
173
add
#NAME?
174
add
Raju, design?
175
add
Never mind the design. I'll make the inverter and show you.
176
add
You can only invent stories, not an inverter.
177
add
I'll make one, I promise.
178
add
And I'll name it after you. After all, it was invented...
179
add
at your daughter's wedding. So it'll be an honor...
180
add
Farhan, Raju. I'll see you in my office tomorrow.
181
add
Sir, what was the cost per plate? We'll reimburse you...
182
add
... in installments.
183
add
- We'll never crash a wedding again. - Not even my own.
184
add
In fact, I won't even marry. Nor will he.
185
add
Uh... right. No marriage.
186
add
Your parents shouldn't have married either.
187
add
The world would have to feed two less idiots.
188
add
Sit!
189
add
Pay attention.
190
add
This is Ranchoddas's father's monthly income.
191
add
Couple of zeroes less, and it's still a sizeable income.
192
add
But erase another zero, and I would worry a little.
193
add
Isn't that your fathers income, Farhan?
194
add
Yes, sir.
195
add
Now take away another zero...
196
add
and that's your family income, Raju Rastogi.
197
add
Big reason to worry.
198
add
Take my advice and shift into Chatur Ramalingam's room.
199
add
Exams are here. Stay with Rancho and you're sure to fail.
200
add
#NAME?
201
add
Then get lost!
202
add
Raju, don't worry. This is Virus's move to split us. Divide and rule.
203
add
I have to worry.
204
add
He grades us, and I need good grades for a good job.
205
add
Unlike you, I don't have a rich dad I can live off.
206
add
Shut up, Raju.
207
add
Must we follow all his hogwash? 'Aal izz well'.
208
add
I won't be his flunky... like you.
209
add
- You're crossing the line. - No, I'm drawing one.
210
add
I have a family to support.
211
add
Dad's medicines swallow up mom's pension.
212
add
My sis can't marry because they want a car in dowry.
213
add
Mom hasn't bought a single saree in five years.
214
add
Now don't get your mom's wardrobe into the debate.
215
add
By the way, how many sarees per annum is reasonable?
216
add
Hey... no wisecracks about mom.
217
add
We'll study with all our heart, but not just for grades.
218
add
To quote a Wise One - Study to be accomplished, not affluent.
219
add
Follow excellence. And success will chase you, pants down!
220
add
Which Wise One says this? His Holiness Guru Ranchoddas?
221
add
Go rot in the bogs!
222
add
Raju, don't stress. We'll top our class. Nothing is impossible.
223
add
Oh yeah?
224
add
Shove this back into the tube.
225
add
Raju got onto another train.
226
add
His travails with Chatur began. Yes, I mean travails, not travels
227
add
Chatur was called 'Silencer'.
228
add
To sharpen his memory, he popped pills from a local quack.
229
add
And then let off silent... but lethal farts.
230
add
I didn't do it... Raju?
231
add
He always blamed others for the output.
232
add
Silencer crammed 18 hours a day.
233
add
On exam eve, he would distract others.
234
add
His belief - There are only two ways of topping.
235
add
Elevate your own grades or shrink your opponents' grades.
236
add
Rancho decided to subdue Silencer and rescue Raju...
237
add
with one master plan.
238
add
Our Director has unceasingly served... 'Served' means...
239
add
Damn the meaning, I'll memorize it.
240
add
Chatur was the introductory speaker at the Teachers' Day function.
241
add
To impress Virus, he got his speech written by the librarian...
242
add
in highbrow Hindi.
243
add
Hello. Hold on. Chatur, call for you.
244
add
Please collect the printout. I'll be right back.
245
add
Oh... the things I have to do...
246
add
Mr. Dubey, the Director was remembering you.
247
add
#NAME?
248
add
I'll see him right away. Give this to Chatur.
249
add
#NAME?
250
add
Yes?
251
add
I'm calling from the police station
252
add
#NAME?
253
add
- Your life is in danger! - What? ... How?
254
add
Listen carefully, or else...
255
add
you'll get killed as you step out of the college gate.
256
add
Why? What happened?
257
add
While Chatur was kept engaged,
258
add
Rancho altered a few words in his speech, for eg...
259
add
'served' became 'screwed'.
260
add
Yes sir?
261
add
#NAME?
262
add
I'm permanent staff, sir.
263
add
Congratulations!
264
add
Hold on a moment. The chief is on the other line.
265
add
Excuse me, sir...
266
add
Yes... so where was I?
267
add
You said I may die... outside the gate.
268
add
Right. As you get out of the gate, you'll see a traffic signal.
269
add
Traffic signal. Ok.
270
add
When it turns red, all the cars will halt.
271
add
Ok. Then?
272
add
Then cross the road with great caution.
273
add
Because son, in rush hour if a car hits you, you're dead.
274
add
What nonsense! I know that.
275
add
You know that? Excellent. Then you're safe my boy.
276
add
From the librarian, Silencer.
277
add
You don't call me that, Chanchad.
278
add
Hey. The Director said he didn't call for me.
279
add
Who said 'called'? I just said he 'remembered' you
280
add
Remembered? Rascals!
281
add
Distinguished Mr. Chairperson.
282
add
Chief guest, the Honorable Minister of Education....
283
add
respected teachers and friends.
284
add
ICE has now soared beyond the stratosphere.
285
add
The credit goes solely to...
286
add
Dr. Viru Sahastrabuddhe. Give him a big hand.
287
add
Sir, the voice is his but the words are mine.
288
add
He's a great guy, really you are.
289
add
For 32 years, he has unceasingly screwed students.
290
add
He means - 'served' students.
291
add
I'm sure his endeavors will continue.
292
add
We are astounded at how one man, in one lifetime
293
add
can screw so many, so well.
294
add
With rigorous training he's built up his stamina.
295
add
He's spent every living minute just screwing.
296
add
Let's replicate his methods.
297
add
Tomorrow ICE students will go across the globe.
298
add
Wherever we go, we promise to screw.
299
add
We'll hoist this screwer's flag all over the world.
300
add
We'll show the world that our capacity to screw...
301
add
cannot be matched by any student...
302
add
anywhere on the planet.
303
add
Mr. Minister. Good evening.
304
add
You have given this institution what it sorely needs...
305
add
#NAME?
306
add
It's booty, stupid. Bosom means...
307
add
What nonsense! That's insulting.
308
add
Everyone has a bosom, but it remains pocketed.
309
add
No one offers it so readily.
310
add
Vulgar fellow!
311
add
You have generously offered your bosom...
312
add
to this relentless screwer.
313
add
Now see how he makes it grow.
314
add
Is this what you teach here, Director?
315
add
On this august occasion, here's a Sanskrit verse...
316
add
Listen to this - the might of his fart in verse.
317
add
A good loud fart is honorable.
318
add
'Fart'? Go, Silencer.
319
add
A medium fart is tolerable.
320
add
Softer windbreaks are terrible.
321
add
And the silent ones unbearable.
322
add
That's what mindless cramming does to you.
323
add
Cramming may see you through four years of college,
324
add
but it will 'screw' you for the next 40 years.
325
add
He still doesn't get it.
326
add
'Medium fart is tolerable'... Unbelievable!
327
add
You're a poet, Rancho. How did you think of this?
328
add
That was fun. He didn't know what hit him.
329
add
You swines! What did I ever do to you?
330
add
Sorry man. Don't take it personally.
331
add
I will.
332
add
Chatur Ramalingam will never forget this insult.
333
add
I'll think of it every minute, every second of my life.
334
add
Sorry man. That was a demo for Raju - Don't cram blindly.
335
add
Understand and enjoy the wonders of Science.
336
add
I'm not here to enjoy Science.
337
add
So You're here to screw Science?
338
add
Go ahead. Laugh at my methods.
339
add
But one day these methods will bring me success.
340
add
That day I'll laugh and you'll cry.
341
add
You're on the wrong track again. Don't chase success.
342
add
Become a good engineer and success will chase you.
343
add
These ideals don't work in the real world.
344
add
You take your train, l'll take mine.
345
add
Ten years from now we'll meet at the same station.
346
add
Same day. Same place. We'll see who's more successful.
347
add
You... or me.
348
add
Have the balls? C'mon, bet!
349
add
lt's a challenge.
350
add
Watch it!
351
add
What's he writing?
352
add
Don't forget this date.
353
add
l'm not used to such expensive gifts, Suhas.
354
add
Get used to them, Pia.
355
add
You're gonna be Suhas Tandon's wife.
356
add
Where's the bill, man?
357
add
l'll be back.
358
add
#NAME?
359
add
Don't lie.
360
add
Um... Yeah.
361
add
- What's your problem with dad? - l have no problem.
362
add
l'm making an inverter named after him. Look... Oh.
363
add
Why're you harassing him?
364
add
'Cause he runs a factory, not a college.
365
add
Churning out asses. Like that one.
366
add
She destroyed it, man.
367
add
How dare you call him an ass?
368
add
He is one! First Engineering, then MBA...
369
add
then becomes a banker in the USA.
370
add
Because it rakes in more money?
371
add
Life for him is just a profit-loss statement.
372
add
He sees profit in you, so he's with you.
373
add
Director's daughter, doctor in the making... Good for his image!
374
add
lt's not you he cares for.
375
add
Who do you think you are?
376
add
What do you mean he doesn't care for me?
377
add
New watch? One moment.
378
add
You always need a demo.
379
add
Hey Suhas!
380
add
Where were you?
381
add
She's looking for her watch.
382
add
What? You lost the watch?
383
add
Never mind. Get another.
384
add
lt cost 400,000!
385
add
Mine's just 250/- but keeps the same time.
386
add
Shut up! How could you be so careless, Pia?
387
add
This callous attitude is disgusting. lt's disrespectful!
388
add
That was a limited edition watch.
389
add
Now wear your ancient piece of junk at dinner.
390
add
What're you staring at?
391
add
Here come the tears! Real mature, Pia.
392
add
l can't handle this.
393
add
Stop crying and look for it.
394
add
Find another wrist for this watch... Ass!
395
add
Hey, you're awesome. Called him an ass to his face.
396
add
Get lost!
397
add
lt's too noisy here.
398
add
She's saying 'Thank you', l hear 'Get lost'.
399
add
- l said 'Get lost'. - Don't get so uptight.
400
add
Actually, you never really loved him.
401
add
What do you mean?
402
add
When you see him, do the winds whisper a melody?
403
add
Your scarf flies in slow motion?
404
add
The Moon appears gigantic?
405
add
That happens in movies, not in life.
406
add
Happens in life too - if you love a person...
407
add
not an ass.
408
add
Hello. What?
409
add
Oh God! Ok, l'm on my way.
410
add
You're a medical student, right? Need your help.
411
add
- lt's an emergency, please. - What?
412
add
Please come with me. What's that oath you doctors take -
413
add
You'll never deny a patient help... The Hippocratic Oath.
414
add
Please help me, it's an emergency.
415
add
You gatecrash my sister's wedding, break off my engagement...
416
add
my dad is popping BP pills because of you...
417
add
and here l am, helping you!
418
add
Unbelievable!
419
add
This Hippocratic Oath - lt's really done us in!
420
add
- Where's Raju, ma'am? - Gone to get a cab.
421
add
Called the ambulance two hours ago.
422
add
ln this country, pizza reaches in 30 minutes...
423
add
but an ambulance...
424
add
He needs hospitalization. Urgently!
425
add
Hey stop!
426
add
Move, it's an emergency!
427
add
Move... move...
428
add
Doctor, emergency!
429
add
That's the patient.
430
add
Keep this. Hey, here's Raju.
431
add
What the hell! You brought dad on the scooter.
432
add
Should l've sent him by courier?
433
add
No wisecracks on dads profession! Where is he?
434
add
Go ask the doctor.
435
add
Close call, Pia. A little delay, we'd have lost him.
436
add
Glad you didn't wait for an ambulance and got him on the scooter.
437
add
Call me if there's a problem.
438
add
Rancho! Thank you...
439
add
Thanking your buddies! Silencer teaching you manners?
440
add
Didn't he teach you - A friend is man's greatest bosom?
441
add
Go on now. You have an exam tomorrow.
442
add
Exams we have many... Dad mostly just one!
443
add
We won't budge from here without the Postmaster.
444
add
Don't worry!
445
add
Rancho, forgive me. l was scared.
446
add
lt's ok. Quiet, now.
447
add
Please forgive me.
448
add
lt's ok, calm down. Go see your dad.
449
add
And don't go with that weepy face.
450
add
Thanks buddy.
451
add
Natty scooter. Saved a life. How much does it cost?
452
add
Pour some mint sauce on it. l'll tell you.
453
add
Hey, happy lndependence Day.
454
add
Today isn't lndependence Day.
455
add
For you it is! Now you're free to wear your mom's watch.
456
add
No ass can say it's an ancient piece of junk.
457
add
Hey.
458
add
How do you know it was mom's watch?
459
add
At your sister's wedding, you wore sparkling new clothes.
460
add
Only the watch was old.
461
add
What could that mean?
462
add
You really missed your mom that day, didn't you?
463
add
Yes.
464
add
Your mom must've been really beautiful.
465
add
Yes. How do you know?
466
add
Seen your dad.
467
add
'Life is a race. lf you don't run fast
468
add
you'll be a broken egg ... cuckoo bird.'
469
add
You...
470
add
Hello. Wake up.
471
add
- Huh... Postmaster's dead? - What!
472
add
No, stupid.
473
add
lt's 8.30, your exam is at 9.
474
add
But we can't leave him alone.
475
add
I'm here. It's a matter of three hours.
476
add
Take my scooter. It's getting late.
477
add
Hey...
478
add
Gosh, what an ancient watch.
479
add
Go.
480
add
- Sorry, we're late. - It was an emergency.
481
add
Settle down there.
482
add
Sir, they're still writing.
483
add
Hello. Time up.
484
add
Please, five minutes. We started half an hour late.
485
add
It was an emergency.
486
add
He glared at us like we'd asked for both his kidneys.
487
add
But we continued writing.
488
add
He continued arranging the answer sheets.
489
add
Done, sir.
490
add
You're late. I can't accept these.
491
add
Sir, please, sir.
492
add
Sir, do you know who we are?
493
add
Prime Ministers son? Even then...
494
add
I will not accept your paper.
495
add
Do you know our names and roll numbers?
496
add
No...
497
add
Who are you?
498
add
He doesn't know - Run!
499
add
Hey, what's your roll number?
500
add
Where the hell are their papers?
