3Idiots - 3 Flashcards
(500 cards)
1
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O Lord, have mercy.
2
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Today was Results day. Time to make a deal with God.
3
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Just save my Electronics. I’ll offer a coconut.
4
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Sir Snake, bless my Physics. I promise a pint of milk per day.
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O Mother Cow, help me pass… have this grass.
6
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I vow: No X-rated thoughts of girls in my class…
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Watch over my results.
8
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God of Wealth, I’ll offer 100/- every month.
9
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100/- won’t bribe even a traffic cop,
10
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let alone the Almighty.
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Check from the bottom.
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You are… last.
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And you?
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Second last.
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Rancho?
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Not there.
17
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My heart sank.
18
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Not ‘cause our ranks tanked, but ‘cause our friend flunked.
19
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There’s a mistake. It’s not possible. It’s injustice.
20
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What’s Silencer howling about?
21
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He got the second rank.
22
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Who’s first?
23
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Rancho.
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Rancho?
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Move aside.
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We learned a lesson in Human Behavior:
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Your friend fails, you feel bad. Your friend tops, you feel worse.
28
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We were sad. Two others were sadder.
29
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Ranchoddas Chanchad. Front row. Right of the Director.
30
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Uday Sinha. Second row. Third seat.
31
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Alok Mittal. Second row. Fifth seat.
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Sahili Rao. Third row...
33
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Sir, why this seating according to rank?
34
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Any problem with that?
35
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Yes, this grading system is like a caste system.
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A-graders: Masters C-graders: Slaves
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- It's not nice, sir. - You have a better idea?
38
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Yes. Results should not be displayed at all.
39
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Why publicise someone's flaws?
40
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If your iron count is low, will the doctor prescribe tonic...
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or air your report on TV?
42
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You see, sir?
43
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So basically, what you are saying is...
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I should personally go to each student's room
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and whisper in his ears...
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'You have come first', 'You're second".
47
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'Oh, I'm so sorry, you have failed'.
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No sir, I mean grades create a divide.
49
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I've topped, so I'm next to you.
50
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My pals came last, they're in the back corner.
51
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At least they're in the corner.
52
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More time with you, and they'll be out of the photo.
53
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They will neither pass, nor get a job.
54
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They'll get jobs, sir. There must be some firm that...
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prefers humans to machines.
56
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They'll get jobs. I guarantee.
57
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You guarantee it!
58
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Bet, sir?
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#NAME?
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Even if one of them gets a job in campus interviews...
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shave off my moustache.
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Sir!
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#NAME?
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Happy, sir.
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Jackass! Honking to hide your tooting.
66
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Septic tank! Popping pills again?
67
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I didn't do it... Raju?
68
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This is a familiar stink.
69
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He's the sole cause for global warming.
70
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Toss me your wallet - I'll buy pants.
71
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- Take Chatur's suit instead. - Don't touch my suit.
72
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Rancho'll recognize you even in underwear.
73
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- Where's this? - If I could read, would I sell peanuts?
74
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- He can't read. - But he can speak.
75
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Wait. Do you know a Ranchoddas Chanchad?
76
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Yes, he lives there.
77
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? Free as the wind was he ?
78
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? Like a soaring kite was he ?
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? Where did he go... ?
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? let's find him ?
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#NAME?
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- In the pocket. - Hey, my pants!
83
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Karl Marx says to share all resources.
84
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Hey, you'll give people ideas.
85
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I want it now!
86
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What happened?
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Rancho's father.
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Excuse me, where is Ranchoddas?
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#NAME?
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#NAME?
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Sorry. We're looking for Ranchoddas.
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I am Ranchoddas.
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No, I mean... 'Ranchoddas Shamaldas Chanchad'.
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Ranchoddas Shamaldas Chanchad. That's me.
95
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Ranchoddas, take care, son.
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'Ranchoddas Chanchad'
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Raju
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I'll be in the Guinness Book for driving Delhi-Shimla in underwear.
99
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That too, for the wrong guy!
100
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Same name, same degree, same photo, but a different guy.
101
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What's going on?
102
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How did Silencer get Rancho's address?
103
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Good point!
104
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Hey Chatur, come here.
105
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How dare you open this? I got this from San Francisco.
106
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Handmade biscuits.
107
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Specially for Mr. Phunsukh Wangdu.
108
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Phunsukh Bangdu? Who's that?
109
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Not Bangdu. Wangdu. 'W'. Phunsukh Wangdu.
110
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Do you know who that is? He's a great scientist.
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400 patents. The world wants him.
112
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Took me a year to get an appointment.
113
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Once he signs the deal with my company, I'll be huge!
114
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Forget Wangdu. How'd you get Rancho's address?
115
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You should be thanking Phunsukh Wangdu.
116
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He led me to Rancho, see this.
117
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My secretary was here to fix an appointment with Wangdu.
118
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She didn't get the appointment. But I found Rancho.
119
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I checked the Shimla directory and found Rancho's name.
120
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What happened to his face?
121
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Plastic surgery in honor of your visit?
122
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Only one man has the answer.
123
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Sorry Papa, I couldn't fulfill your last wish.
124
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You kept asking me to take you on pilgrimage.
125
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But I waited for the highway tender.
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There the tender opened, here you closed your eyes.
127
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I am so sorry, Papa. I could not be a good son...
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Wrong.
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You're an engineer. Your degree's on the wall!
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You were a very good son.
131
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How dare you barge in? I'll have you arrested.
132
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No, you'll be arrested. We've made enquiries.
133
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You use the degree to clinch contracts.
134
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It's our friend's degree. How did you get it?
135
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This is a 150 acre estate.
136
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If I shoot and bury you, no one would even notice.
137
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Get the point?
138
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Now get lost!
139
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I'm taking Papa's ashes to the sacred river. Can take yours too.
140
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Grab Papa!
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Here, here.
142
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Let go of Papa!
143
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Tell the truth or Papa is flushed!
144
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- Hand over Papa! - Papa goes to the sacred sewer.
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#NAME?
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I'll count to three.
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Wanna shoot us? Raju, scatter the ashes.
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One.
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Take us down, and Papa's down the drain.
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Two.
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Then grope for him in the gutter.
152
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What is it, Raju?
153
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We've got the wrong urn. It's empty!
154
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Empty?
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Empty - we'll empty it out!
156
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No, no!
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We'll empty it out!
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No... hands up!
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Who are you?
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I am Rancho.
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I swear on Papa, it's true.
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I am Rancho! That was Chhote.
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Chhote?
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He was our gardener's son, Chhote.
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He stayed on with us after he was orphaned.
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Did odd jobs around the house, ran errands.
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He had a passion for learning.
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He'd wear my old uniform and slip into school.
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And attend any class he liked. It suited me.
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I made him do my homework, take my exams.
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It was going well, till one day...
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Our teacher saw a sixth grader doing tenth grade math.
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Which grade are you in, son?
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What's your name?
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We got caught.
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Papa was a powerful man, so...
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our teacher alerted him before going to the Principal.
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You started it, you will finish it.
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People pretend to show me respect...
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But behind my back...
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mock me as an illiterate.
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I won't let that happen to my son.
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This boy wants to study. I want just a degree.
184
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Let the game go on.
185
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Make this kid an engineer,
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and I'll have a degree in my son's name on that wall.
187
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I went to London for four years, he went to college as me.
188
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He'd promised to cut contact with all after getting the degree.
189
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But he always said: 'Two idiots will come looking for me'
190
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He really misses you both.
191
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I'll give you his address, go to him.
192
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But please keep my secret.
193
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What secret?
194
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You got the wrong urn, sir. Papa is in here.
195
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What the hell's going on? Who was that gun guy?
196
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Complicated story. Without subtitles. Not for you.
197
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- Ignore it. - Where're we going?
198
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Ladakh.
199
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Ladakh! Why?
200
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To meet Rancho.
201
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What's he doing in Ladakh?
202
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No clue. We have the address of a school.
203
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School teacher!
204
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I'm Vice President of Rockledge Corporation, and he...
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A for Apple, B for Ball...
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D for Donkey.
207
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Next week I sign a huge deal with Phunsukh Wangdu.
208
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And he... A for Apple, B for Ball...
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Today my respect for that idiot shot up.
210
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Most of us went to college just for a degree.
211
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No degree meant no plum job, no pretty wife...
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no credit card, no social status.
213
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None of this mattered to him.
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He was in college for the joy of learning.
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He never cared if he was first or last.
216
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Who was the first man on the Moon?
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Neil Armstrong, sir.
218
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Obviously, it is Neil Armstrong. We all know it.
219
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Who was the second?
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Don't waste your time. It's not important.
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Nobody remembers the man who ever came second.
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Soon, 26 companies will be here with job offers.
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You'll have a job even before your final exam.
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This is your last lap, my friends.
225
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Put the pedal to the metal. Step on the gas.
226
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Go out there and make history!
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Any questions?
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Yes?
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Sir, suppose a student gets a job...
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but narrowly fails the final exam, will he still have the job?
231
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Very good question.
232
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Anyone else with the same question?
233
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As expected.
234
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Please come on stage. Give them a big hand.
235
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For the last four years...
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they've been our most consistent students.
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Consistently last in every exam.
238
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Come my geniuses, come.
239
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Their brains will fetch a handsome price.
240
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'Cause they're completely unused.
241
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And to answer their question:
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The exam won't affect their jobs.
243
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Because no company will hire them anyway!
244
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They're so unique, their names will be writ in gold -
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'Farhanitrate' and 'Prerajulization'
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Give them a big hand, please, everybody.
247
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He screwed us!
248
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In front of everyone.
249
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God, I'll give up meat, light a 1000 incense sticks.
250
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Do me just one favor.
251
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Delete Virus!
252
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Burn him in hell.
253
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Fry Virus-nuggets in bubbling oil.
254
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You think God is a contract killer?
255
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You shut up!
256
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You're in the center of the photo every year.
257
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We're rotting in the corner.
258
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This year we may fall out of the photo altogether.
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#NAME?
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Because I love machines.
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Engineering is my passion.
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Know your passion?
263
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- That's my bag. - Be quiet.
264
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What're you up to?
265
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This... is your passion.
266
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Go post this letter.
267
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What letter?
268
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5 years ago he wrote this for his favorite wildlife photographer
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#NAME?
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He wanted to train with him in Hungary.
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But in fear of his dad, the Fuhrer, never posted it.
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Quit Engineering, marry Photography.
273
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Follow your talent.
274
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If Michael Jackson's dad forced him to be a boxer...
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and Mohammad Ali's dad pushed him to be a singer...
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imagine the disaster.
277
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Do you get it?
278
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Idiot! Loves Photography, but is marrying machines.
279
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Your Holiness Guru Ranchoddas!
280
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Engineering is my wife and mistress both.
281
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#NAME?
282
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'Cause you're a coward, scared of the future.
283
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Look at this - more holy rings than fingers.
284
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One ring per fear - exam, sis's dowry, job.
285
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With such fear of tomorrow, how'll you live today?
286
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How'll you focus on studies?
287
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Strange buddies! One lives in fear, the other in pretense.
288
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You live in both - fear and pretense.
289
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You're scared to tell Pia you love her... so you pretend you don't.
290
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What rubbish!
291
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Easy to offer free advice, tough to follow it.
292
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Have the guts? Go confess to Pia.
293
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- There's no connection! - Deep connection, Your Holiness.
294
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Listen, if you confess to Pia...
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I'll tell Dad - No Engineering, I'm marrying Photography
296
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And I'll dump my rings before the job interview.
297
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Deal?
298
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Have the guts?
299
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His Holiness is speechless.
300
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Let's go.
301
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#NAME?
302
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Let's go.
303
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Hey Virus! I'm anti-Virus.
304
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Hope no dog here.
305
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Cowards! Let's go.
306
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If any danger, I'll give the Virus alert.
307
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Beware - Virus inside.
308
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Need background score?
309
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- Pia. - Who's it?
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Don't yell! It's me, Rancho.
311
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Just listen for a moment, then I'm gone.
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Say not a word...
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#NAME?
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Those 22 minutes with you on the scooter
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were the most enchanting 22 minutes of my life.
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I could spend an eternity with you on the scooter.
317
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Wow!
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... and time stands still.
319
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Every night you ride into my dreams on your scooter, dressed as a bride.
320
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Instead of a veil, you lift your helmet...
321
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and come close to kiss me.
322
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But that kiss doesn't happen.
323
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Why?
324
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Because the noses collide, and I wake up.
325
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The noses never collide, stupid!
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I'm sorry, I thought you were Pia.
327
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I wish I was.
328
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Sis, why did you interrupt?
329
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It took him four years to say this.
330
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Pia, kiss him. Show that noses don't collide.
331
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You have my permission, kiss him... He's so cute!
332
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- Who's this? - My sister.
333
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Who're you?
334
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When you were talking, he kicked. First time!
335
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He? How do you know it's a 'he' or 'she'?
336
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Papa asked the astrologer If we'd get an engineer or a doctor.
337
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Meaning?
338
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Boy becomes an engineer, girl a doctor.
339
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Champ, better stay inside. Out here's a circus.
340
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Your grandpa is the ringmaster. He'll crack his whip -
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'Run! Life is a race. Be an engineer.
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But you follow your heart. If grandpa scares you...
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put your hand on your heart and say, 'All is well'
344
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He kicked.
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Say it again.
346
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All is well.
347
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Kicked again.
348
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#NAME?
349
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All is well.
350
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Who is it?
351
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Go.
352
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You sent hate-mail to Dad, here's pee-mail for you.
353
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Enjoy the pee-mail, happy reading!
354
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#NAME?
355
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And the wedding party.
356
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Rastogi!
357
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Security, that way.
358
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So you all have already learned about the simple pendulum.
359
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Now let's get down to the advanced study about compound pendulum.
360
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It's an irregular object oscillating about its own axis.
361
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Let me demonstrate to you
362
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- What's this? - Pencil.
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- What's inside? - Lead.
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Good. Lead is the axis to this pencil.
365
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Even you can be a compound pendulum, if you oscillate about...
366
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#NAME?
367
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Hi. Everybody is here.
368
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Good morning, sir.
369
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Where were you last night?
370
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#NAME?
371
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Really?
372
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Hasn't slept two nights, that's why he looks scruffy.
373
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Not slept?
374
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What did you study?
375
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Induction motor, sir. The whole chapter.
376
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Whole chapter?
377
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In that case, Mr. Raju Rastogi...
378
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Yessir!
379
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Can you tell us how an induction motor starts?
380
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Stop it!
381
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Sir, rum.
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Mr. Rastogi!
383
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Let's have a cup of tea in my office.
384
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Sir?
385
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Close the door.
386
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Can you type?
387
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Yes, sir.
388
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Will you type a letter for me?
389
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Definitely, sir.
390
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Come, sit.
391
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Sir, I'm sorry sir...
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Please type.
393
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Dear Sir...
394
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It is my painful duty to inform you...
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that your son is rusticated...
396
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No, sorry, delete that. Go back.
397
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Your son, Mr. Raju Rastogi...
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is rusticated from the Imperial College of Engineering.
399
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Come on, type.
400
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It'll kill my dad, sir.
401
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#NAME?
402
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My decision is final and irrevocable.
403
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He lives just to see me become an engineer.
404
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Should've thought of that before peeing on my door.
405
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Sir, give me one chance... please.
406
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Ok, remove your name from the letter...
407
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and put in Rancho's.
408
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I know he was with you last night.
409
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Be my witness and I'll spare you.
410
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You have 71/2 minutes to think.
411
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? We won't let go of you ?
412
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? We're not done yet... no way ?
413
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? The heavens may beckon you ?
414
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? But we'll take up arms against God ?
415
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? And it's not a fight we intend to lose ?
416
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? You may try your best to escape ?
417
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? Try with all your might ?
418
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? But there is no way we are letting go of you ?
419
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? We won't let go of you ?
420
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? We're not done yet... no way ?
421
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Rancho, watch that monitor.
422
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Raju.
423
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His body is paralyzed with shock, but his mind is alert.
424
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He can see and hear us. Please don't cry in front of him.
425
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Speak to him normally, motivate him, joke around.
426
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Good news, Raju. Your dad's recovered.
427
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The new medicine worked.
428
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Is this your family tradition?
429
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As one male gets up, the other conks out?
430
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Come, wake up.
431
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Your dad wants Pia's scooter.
432
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Should I give it to him? Hope he won't dent it.
433
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Raju, Farhan is live on webcam. From the hostel.
434
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Look, Virus has canceled your suspension order.
435
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Problem solved... Wake up now.
436
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Everything's resolved! You hear that?
437
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Rise and shine, buddy.
438
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? In this journey of few strides ?
439
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? On the path called life ?
440
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? Don't quit... Just celebrate the ride ?
441
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? Listen please to those who love you ?
442
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? Every dark night is followed by sunrise ?
443
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? Don't shut out those who love you ?
444
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? We won't let go of you ?
445
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? We're not done yet... no way ?
446
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? We won't let go of you ?
447
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? We're not done yet... no way ?
448
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#NAME?
449
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It cost 2000/-
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Wake up now.
451
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She bought not one, but ten sarees.
452
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Look!
453
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Hey Raju!
454
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C'mon tell me... How do I look?
455
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? Remember the letters mom would write... ?
456
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? Always blessed you with eternal life ?
457
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? Don't die on her... you can't die ?
458
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? Look at us now, don't turn away ?
459
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? Smile once to show you care ?
460
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? Wake up, don't torment us anymore ?
461
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Did you hear about your sis?
462
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She's getting married.
463
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Without any dowry.
464
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The bridegroom wants nothing at all.
465
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He just wants Kammo.
466
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#NAME?
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Guess!
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#NAME?
469
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#NAME?
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He's going to be a wildlife photographer.
471
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Quiet... Shhhh...
472
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Didn't get it? It's our Farhan.
473
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Farhan will never take any dowry.
474
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Farhan will marry your sister.
475
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For free! Free! Free!
476
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Raju!
477
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One kilo okra, 500 grams cheese for 'free' would've woken him.
478
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Why sacrifice me...!
479
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Well done, buddy.
480
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So it's all fixed - Farhan will marry your sister.
481
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Rancho!
482
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Rascals... Stop fibbing.
483
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Lucky escape!
484
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? We won't let go of you. ?
485
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? We're not done yet... no way ?
486
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? We won't let go of you ?
487
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? We're not done yet... no way ?
488
add
? We won't let go of you ?
489
add
'Okra Rs.12/ kilo'
490
add
You called for a taxi?
491
add
- I did. - It's waiting.
492
add
Thank you. Why?
493
add
I'm going to the job interview.
494
add
You coming with me?
495
add
No. I'm going for the interview. You're going home.
496
add
Why would I go home?
497
add
Remember, we promised this rascal.
498
add
Give me your tie.
499
add
Why?
500
add
I doubt you'll go for the interview after reading this.
