Flashcards in Week 6: L2: Jealousy and Infidelity Deck (15)
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Envy
- occurs when a person lacks a another's superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wished that the other lacked it
- affective state: feelings of inferiority, longing, resentment, ill will toward the envied person, guilt, denial, awareness if the in appropriateness of the ill will
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Jealousy
- occurs when a person fears losing an important relationship with another person to a rival - in particular, losing a relationship that is formative to one's sense of self
- affective state: fear of loss, anxiety, suspiciousness and anger about betrayal
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Development of jealousy
- 6 & 12 months
• show negative affect, longer eye gaze when mother is showing attention to a toy doll compared to a story book
- reactions to jealousy evocation appear to be the same for children aged 10-month-old to 3-year-old. 4 years > more complex
- reactions range from seeking proximity to mother, kissing her, climbing on her and biting her
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Cross cultural differences in jealousy - evolutionary based phenomenon
- behavioral expressions don't emerge automatically
- biology expressed differently according to contextual demands
- frequency, intensity and experience of an emotion influence by cultural norms
- Gusii mothers from Kenya minibar a child's desire and expectation of exclusive maternal attention to avoid conflict when other siblings are born
- Western mothers consider exclusive attention to an infant as absolutely essential to optimal child development
- children from traditional cultures are less likely to interrupt an adult conversation and more likely to share at 12 months age
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Sibling jealousy
- arrival of new sibling
- first born daughters are more likely to react negatively to a new baby with their mother compared to first born boys
- early childhood - older siblings use more sophisticated strategies to gain parents attention
- middle childhood - 98% of 10-12 yr olds reported sibling jealousy occurring often (once a month)
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Jealousy in social relationships
- compared to boys, girls engage in more thinking about their friends when separated, they expect an receive more kindness, loyalty, commitment, and empathy from friends
- as a result, girls appear more prone to jealousy in friendships. As they have more at stake.
- what variables at play?
• high dependency
• low SE
• insecure attachment
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Jealousy on adulthood
Attachment styles - findings are mixed
- insecure -> jealousy
- secure -> jealousy
Stages of threat
1. Vague possibility of threat
2. Definite reality
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Romantic jealousy
- forced choice dilemmas: sexual infidelity vs emotional infidelity
- women more distress by emotional infidelity
- men more distressed by sexual infidelity
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Is there really a sex difference in jealousy?
- sexual infidelity implies emotional infidelity?
- when participants have experienced infidelity, the results do not match the evolutionary hypothesis
- men reported higher levels of anger/betrayal after imaging sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity and vice versa for women
- m and w reported less jealousy in same sex encounter than opposite
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Pathological jealousy
- Irrational thoughts and emotions, unacceptable or extreme behaviour, a pre-occupation with a partner's sexual faithfulness based on unfounded evidence
- co-morbidity is high - personality disorders, substance abuse and mental illness
- symptom rather than unique diagnosis
- Risk to self and others is high
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Infidelity
- dating, spending time together, sex, kissing, flirting, petting, sexual attraction, fantasies, keeping secrets, cybersex, porn
- extramarital sex is most cited cause of divorce cross-culturally
- sexual infidelity (actual or suspected) leading cause of spousal battering and homicide
- 30-60% of m and 20-50% of w cheat over the course of a marriage
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Why cheat?
- narcissim, impulsivity, jealous/possessive partner, marital dissatisfaction
- infidelity is universally associated with low agreeableness and low conscientiousness
Prior to marriage (Wiederman & Hurd, 1999) (M 19)
- less adherence to sex-love-marriage ideals
- high in sexual sensation seeking
- view love as a game
- perceived ability to deceive partner
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Why don't people cheat?
-commitment
- use of maintenance strategies
• positivity
• openness
• assurances
- protects relationships from infidelity even when geographically apart
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Why stay with cheaters?
Investment theory (Rusbult, 1980)
- satisfaction
- investment
- quality of alternatives
- commitment
- perceive partner as unique
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