Week 5: L1 - Communication In Relationships Flashcards Preview

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Flashcards in Week 5: L1 - Communication In Relationships Deck (12)
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What is communication?

- Sender (encoder), message and receiver (decoder)
- may be rich multiple channels, or poor - only one channel


Role of language

- paralanguage (everything except content of speech) provides more accurate info than just verbal
- deception research shows that verbal lies can be 'leaked' via nonverbal cues


Why is communication complex?

- noise - interference in communication process
- encoders can send ambiguous (noisy) messages where verbal/non-verbal cues don't match
- the medium may not suit the message - breakup over SMS
- decoders interpret messages according to moods, schemas and expectations


Communication accuracy stay using the Marital Communication Scale

- happy couples were more successful in accurately decoding the messages than unhappy couples
- happy husbands sent clearer messages and better at decoding wives messages than unhappy husbands
- No differences in accuracy b/w happy and unhappy wives
- wives made fewer encoding errors than men overall, especially for positive messages
- happily married husbands were especially accurate in sending positive messages (encoding), compared to unhappily married husbands
- unhappy wives were concerned at the apparent lack of positivity from their husbands (due to husbands' lack of encoding skills, rather than negative intentions; I.e. they didn't know how to express positive intentions non verbally when saying something positive)


Para language problems

- wives verbal and nonverbal messages were consistent with one another
- husbands verbal and nonverbal messages tended to be inconsistent (mixed)


Spouses communication accuracy ratings

- spouses tended to judge their own encoding skills accurately, regardless of marital happiness
- unhappy husbands were more confident than happy husbands about their abilities to decode their wives messages, regardless of their actual abilities


Importance of positivity in communication

Happy partners communicate with more positive behaviors than unhappy partners, who communicate with more negative behaviors


Gottman (1979): verbal mismanagement

- cross-complaining
- mind-reading
- kitchen-sinking
- self-summarizing
- meta-communication


Communication patterns

- negative affect (emotion) reciprocity and "tit-for-tat" sequences typify for unhappy marriages
- negative reciprocity tends to re-occur over long periods of time
- unhappy wives tend to determine the degree of negative reciprocity
• they reciprocate perceived negative behaviors and are more likely to respond negatively than are unhappy husbands


Classic intersectional pattern

- demand-withdrawal (Christensen & Heavey, 1990)
• in 60% of cases, woman demands and man withdraws
• may be a function of differing need for autonomy and closeness
• may be due to sex-role socialization (woman wanton intimacy, men independence) - especially as roles can reverse on non-intimacy contexts


A problem for men in communication

- demand-withdraw pattern may also be due to some men's physiological arousal during confit
- arousal causes discomfort and motivates behavior (e.g. Withdrawal) to reduce it
- but men are less happy in relationships where problematic issues are avoided so stonewalling works against happiness in the long run


"Precarious-couple effect"

- verbal inhibition - a stable personality trait - reluctant to speak about thoughts and feelings
- verbally disinhibition people translate thoughts and feelings into words quickly and without hesitation
- verbally-inhibited men partnered with critical, disinhibition wives - a particularly dysfunctional mateship