Week 5: L1 - Communication In Relationships Flashcards Preview

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Flashcards in Week 5: L1 - Communication In Relationships Deck (12)
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What is communication?

- Sender (encoder), message and receiver (decoder)
- may be rich multiple channels, or poor - only one channel

1

Role of language

- paralanguage (everything except content of speech) provides more accurate info than just verbal
- deception research shows that verbal lies can be 'leaked' via nonverbal cues

2

Why is communication complex?

- noise - interference in communication process
- encoders can send ambiguous (noisy) messages where verbal/non-verbal cues don't match
- the medium may not suit the message - breakup over SMS
- decoders interpret messages according to moods, schemas and expectations

3

Communication accuracy stay using the Marital Communication Scale

- happy couples were more successful in accurately decoding the messages than unhappy couples
- happy husbands sent clearer messages and better at decoding wives messages than unhappy husbands
- No differences in accuracy b/w happy and unhappy wives
- wives made fewer encoding errors than men overall, especially for positive messages
- happily married husbands were especially accurate in sending positive messages (encoding), compared to unhappily married husbands
- unhappy wives were concerned at the apparent lack of positivity from their husbands (due to husbands' lack of encoding skills, rather than negative intentions; I.e. they didn't know how to express positive intentions non verbally when saying something positive)
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4

Para language problems

- wives verbal and nonverbal messages were consistent with one another
- husbands verbal and nonverbal messages tended to be inconsistent (mixed)

5

Spouses communication accuracy ratings

- spouses tended to judge their own encoding skills accurately, regardless of marital happiness
- unhappy husbands were more confident than happy husbands about their abilities to decode their wives messages, regardless of their actual abilities

6

Importance of positivity in communication

Happy partners communicate with more positive behaviors than unhappy partners, who communicate with more negative behaviors

7

Gottman (1979): verbal mismanagement

- cross-complaining
- mind-reading
- kitchen-sinking
- self-summarizing
- meta-communication

8

Communication patterns

- negative affect (emotion) reciprocity and "tit-for-tat" sequences typify for unhappy marriages
- negative reciprocity tends to re-occur over long periods of time
- unhappy wives tend to determine the degree of negative reciprocity
• they reciprocate perceived negative behaviors and are more likely to respond negatively than are unhappy husbands

9

Classic intersectional pattern

- demand-withdrawal (Christensen & Heavey, 1990)
• in 60% of cases, woman demands and man withdraws
• may be a function of differing need for autonomy and closeness
• may be due to sex-role socialization (woman wanton intimacy, men independence) - especially as roles can reverse on non-intimacy contexts

10

A problem for men in communication

- demand-withdraw pattern may also be due to some men's physiological arousal during confit
- arousal causes discomfort and motivates behavior (e.g. Withdrawal) to reduce it
- but men are less happy in relationships where problematic issues are avoided so stonewalling works against happiness in the long run

11

"Precarious-couple effect"

- verbal inhibition - a stable personality trait - reluctant to speak about thoughts and feelings
- verbally disinhibition people translate thoughts and feelings into words quickly and without hesitation
- verbally-inhibited men partnered with critical, disinhibition wives - a particularly dysfunctional mateship