Leading Imperfectly By James Robilotta Flashcards
(107 cards)
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educators who want to inspire students? In short, my answer was: Stop telling other people’s stories and start telling your own.
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Imagine if, instead of trying to spend so much energy trying to be someone you are not, you allow yourself to be human—to be you.
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It is for this reason I propose that leadership should stem from remembering we are human and leading from our faults.
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I have the innate ability to fit in to whatever group I interact with because I ask questions until I find the thing people are passionate about. I am the conversational equivalent of being a “jack of all trades, master of none.”
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“Fake it till you make it, but if all you ever do is fake it, you’ll never really make it.”
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As authentic leaders, we must have the courage to find our story and share it with others. Share the times you have fallen short.
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You’re the only one who has to fall asleep to the sound of your heartbeat,
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As humans, we can only learn things from people who are imperfect. We cannot learn things from people who are perfect.
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the best interviewer I have ever seen. He exemplified a very simple but effective interviewing philosophy: the more comfortable everyone is, the better (read: more honest) the dialogue will be.
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are our authentic selves and reveal to others our humanity, we give them the opportunity to connect with us in the most dynamic way.
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We must realize that we were selected for our positions not because we were the most perfect, but because we were the most trusted.
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You must own who you are before you can be real to others,
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What is one lie you tell yourself every single day?
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The moment you think you have it all figured out is the exact moment you don’t.
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I did not say that so later when they complained because my disorganization reared its ugly head, I could respond, “I warned you this
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is how it would be!” No, I told them about my weaknesses because I wanted them to hold me accountable—to help me get better.
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Our first reaction to being called out is usually a defensive one
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As humans, we can only learn from those who are imperfect; we can’t learn from those who are perfect.
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a consistent, authentic life is if your friends from all areas of your life get along with each other. Their ability to do so shows that your values are congruent across your world.
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Allow me to re-ask then: What version of yourself do you allow others to see? If I were to ask your family, your supervisor,
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the most effective leaders are not afraid to be real with their followers
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being authentic means being uniquely you, so that does not work.
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It’s time to step up and be that good friend, relative, or teammate and have the tough conversation
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It is critical for all leaders to allow themselves to be human.
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At the end of the day, people must be real and have the courage to challenge others to be real, too. That is where the idea of leading by example shines through and the idea of perfection must be shot down. Leaders who try to separate every facet of their lives, as if each one is able to stand alone without the others, are projecting an impossible life. Your mind, body, and spirit are present at work
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What version of yourself do you allow others to see?
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It is critical for all leaders to allow themselves to be human.
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So, if the foundation of great relationships is communication, then the keystone of great communication is vulnerability.
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In life, there are a bunch of what I call, "Okay, I love you. Bye" moments. For example, when we get off of the phone, or when we're leaving for work. I understand the idea behind a quick, "Okay, I love you. Bye,"
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Give Up Your Heart.
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Love and vulnerability have a cinnamon-bun-like relationship, A cinnamon bun without the sugary-cinnamony-goodness is just a bland pastry with nothing to look forward to. Love without vulnerability, though safe, is boring, predictable, and gets old very quickly, Vulnerability allows you to live in the moment and appreciate the full weight of love.
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I think love is when we're looking at the person and we get a little lump in our throats, or when you are apart and you remember something the person said to you or the way he or she looked at you and you got goose-bumps, butterflies, or warm fuzzies. But I think vulnerability comes very quickly thereafter, and unless it’s avoided and pushed into the depths of your pinky toe, it allows you to be in love.
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if you cultivate the idea that everyone plays a critical role in the team's success and you make members feel that through positive affirmation and well-thought-out feedback, individuals will take, notice and feel appreciated and heard; then, your team will have a greater sense of positive obligation to keep putting in good work for the betterment of the organization. That is being a leader.
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When interacting with someone, the more transparent you are, the better. A lot of this goes back to what Simon Sinek says. People don't buy what you do; they buy why you do it." The more people understand the "why" behind your expectations, the more likely they are to get on board. On top of that, the "why"
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To build your team's trust, three key components are needed: competency, authentic interactions, and love.
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SUCCESS or end goal. Leaders can't do that if they are not emotionally invested in their followers' potential. But if leaders can show that they are actively engaged and concerned with their employees' development, then, I believe, that is the exact time when loyalty is developed.
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greater sense of positive obligation to keep putting in good Work for the betterment of the organization. That is being a leader.
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Leaders must show that they care deeply about their followers lives; they do that by being present during times of need and pushing when opportunities for growth appear.
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I carefully choose the word "love" rather than "develop" because when we love someone, we have a sense of responsibility for that person and where he or she is going.
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I Created an environment where my staff members knew I cared about them as people first and as employees second.
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While it may be scary at first, if you surround yourself with competent individuals who will you love back and communicate with you authentically, then you'll find yourself at the head of a fiercely loyal tribe, eager to bring your vision to life.
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No matter how you learned to define what is right and what is wrong, it is your own moral compass that now informs the choices, judgments, and actions you make.
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"morals" is: your own personal definition of what is right and what is wrong.
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"James, the man you are is not congruent with a person who has a stealing problem. You have such a great reputation on campus; why are you doing something that could ruin it?
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Do those thoughts align with your moral compass? If not, then it's not something you should do.
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The stronger we are morally, however, the less likely we are to find ourselves in these compromising relationships.
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There is a telltale sign of individuals who need to focus on being more centered in their own lives. Rather than going through sometimes painful and time-consuming self-reflection, they seek others who appear stable to hold them up and make them feel better about themselves. These individuals, rather than focusing on strengthening their own brick pillars by analyzing what's important to them and what they feel is right, lean on others' pillars. Thafs why, when the relationship ends, their lives comes crashing down while the other person can move on more quickly.
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"Why are you doing something that if anyone found out about it, Would immediately make them question what they thought about you?'
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You are allowed to be human.
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What are the morals of your story? The minute we start compro-
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mising our definition of what is right and what is wrong is the same moment we start to destroy the person we are. We demolish our brick pillars, but for what?
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But every decision authentic leaders make gets filtered through their morals first. That may mean they have to make unpopular decisions.
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Authentic leaders are not perfectly moral individuals.
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"Heroes save people; role models help people save themselves."
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the difference between a hero and a role model like this: "Hero: wrong place, wrong time, right person. Role Model: right place, right time, tight person."
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Transparency refers to how much of an "open book" someone is.
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when I think about the difference between a hero and a role model, two concepts come to mind: tangibility and transparency. Tangibility speaks to how accessible and approachable someone is.
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It takes more time to be a role model than a hero because role model leadership focuses on both the development of the individuals involved and on getting results (getting the job done).
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Role models as leaders, on the other hand, authentically lead by example and are both tangible and transparent. Tangible role model leaders are accessible. They are available for meetings and do not
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when heroes run organizations, a huge disconnect often exists between them and the people "under" them.
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Be something to someone.
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Heroes try; role models just are.
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So how does one become a role model? Unfortunately, it's not up to you. Role models go throughout their lives making choices based on what they think is right and based on what they think is important.
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Our organizations need more role models and less heroes.
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It’s at that moment that we each must remember we are a human talking to another human.
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Each day she talks of sleep
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late into the mornings now
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and right after the evening meal
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and this is how she will die
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the doctor says
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each day a little less living
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a little more goodbye
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For me, I live my life according to what I want to be said in my eulogy.
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Leadership is connecting with others, empowering them to be their best authentic selves, and working together toward a common goal.
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"You don't have to take yourself seriously to take your job seriously." - Chris Bruno
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It's important to think about these questions now. This chapter is about life and what you're doing or not doing with it; it's not about death. Maybe death is a motivator for you—it's something you're scared of. I think death scares the unfulfilled the most. A little of that fear is healthy.
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Leaders push; they don't pull.
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Being emotional does not equal being unprofessional.
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laughter does not equal professionalism. We are taught, whether consciously or sub-consciously, that being professional means curbing your emotions to remain as even-keeled as possible.
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Actually, if you admit when you're wrong and you ask for help, people will respect you more!
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As leaders, it is not only your job to impact others' lives, but to let them impact yours.
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We should be excited to share what we have learned. People who live their lives through their titles are missing the point.
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Having a title doesn't mean you get to brag about it to others. Authentic leaders are not defined by their successes; they are defined by their abilities to share their stories and wisdom while admitting they don't have all of the answers. Having a title means you've earned a responsibility to share your knowledge with others. If you have knowledge and you're not sharing it, you're wasting everyone else's time.
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Get them to listen; then get them to love.
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Next time someone introduces you, ask her to leave out your title and not to label you. Let yourself be seen, first, as a human being. Start on a level playing field with the relationship—let it be mutually
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If you let titles and labels define you, then you close the door on growth.
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We let our titles get in the way of our learning is the exact moment we begin to fail. If it's the latter, then thank you for sharing your wisdom and passion with the world and asking me about mine.
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We must approach leading as if we are building a relationship.
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That's exactly what happens when leaders do not take a few moments to assess where their team is and get the team members onto their sides.
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Personal connections make tough conversations heartfelt instead of hard,
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We can't place expectations on others that we know we cannot live up to.
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My point is that we must first come from a place of, "Hello, fellow human beings,"
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Trust-built relationships are still at the core of any movement or teambuilding.
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Talking face-to-face is hard. When you have to give difficult feedback, it's awkward. It's time-consuming. But it's effective. Remember that nice text you got one time thanking you for doing something? Yeah, me neither. Remember that time someone asked you to go out for coffee or tea just to tell you how what you did made a positive impact on her? Heck yeah, I do!
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experience that you can’t be there for someone who can't be there for himself.
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That's why whenever I have face-to-face conversations with people who have dropped the ball, I first ask whether something bigger is going on in their lives. If something is going on, then it's important for me to know that so I can frame my expectations of them.
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That's why, when people go out of their way to sit down with us to have face-to-face conversations, it carries more weight.
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At the end of the day, deadlines have to be hit, projections must be met, and people need to do their jobs. But if we take out the human element and expect everyone to be emotionless laborers, then burnout will be just around the corner and people will have no sense of loyalty to their employers.
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Practice empathetic listening while not forgetting to hold people accountable.
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The time is now to start prioritizing having more face-to-face conversations with your team. It's a priority in good times and in bad.
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The positive culture we should be trying to cultivate is done using empathy and support.
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Your intent will influence your impact.
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I feel like right after we tell people to do what they love, we need to follow it up with another phrase, "and love where you do it."
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Only when the employee understands and believes in her own personal purpose within the mission does she feel fulfilled at work.
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our desire means to us that drives us. In short, it's the "why; not the "what," that matters.
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Our own sense of purpose is a constantly evolving beast. Before high school, you depend on others; in high school, you figure out who you are. In college, you figure out why you are who you are—your purpose. Then in your mid-twenties, you face a fork in the road.
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As a leader, it will be important to revisit your purpose in everything you do at various points every year.
Leading Imperfectly By James Robilotta
