People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton Flashcards Preview

Book Notes > People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton > Flashcards

Flashcards in People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton Deck (409)
Loading flashcards...
1

If you could figure out how to bridge the gap between yourself and others, you could make your life—and theirs—much easier, happier, and more productive.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

2

It’s about making people differences work for, rather than against, you.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

3

“I could save myself a lot of wear and tear with people if I just learned to understand them.” —RALPH ELLISON

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

4

PEOPLE DIFFERENCES TRIGGER PEOPLE PROBLEMS

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

5

people with significantly different behavioral patterns: • Have a harder time establishing rapport • Are less likely to be persuasive with one another • Miscommunicate more often • Tend to rub each other the wrong way—just by being themselves

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

6

Nora Ephron said, “You fall in love with someone, and part of what you love about him are the differences between you; and then you get married and the differences drive you crazy.” Don

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

7

“It is never possible to completely understand any other human being,” wrote anthropologist Edward T. Hall, “the complexity is too great.”

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

8

1960s, Dr. David Merrill, an industrial psychologist, developed a typology that focused on the behavioral differences between people. The people styles model (also referred to as a behavioral styles model)

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

9

There are four people styles, none of which is better or worse than any of the other styles. • Although each person is unique, people of the same style are similar in important ways. • Each style has potential strengths and weaknesses that aren’t shared by the other styles. • No style is more or less likely to be a predictor of success or failure. • The behavioral patterns of each style tend to trigger tension in people of the other styles. • Getting in sync with the style-based behaviors of the person you are with helps reduce interpersonal tension, thereby fostering well-functioning and productive relationships.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

10

we can’t avoid categorizing people or anything else that we want to understand and communicate about. We can categorize well or we can categorize poorly. But we can’t not categorize.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

11

once you have a high-quality set of categories, you need to use them skillfully.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

12

benefit from recognizing that people differ in valuable ways and supplement your own abilities with the strengths of people who are very different from yourself.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

13

figure out how to bridge the interpersonal gap so you are in sync with the other person’s way of working.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

14

People Are More Predictable than You Might Think

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

15

Lewis Thomas, the noted physician and essayist, wrote in exasperation, “Our behavior toward each other is the strangest, most unpredictable, and almost entirely unaccountable of all the phenomena with which we are obliged to live.”

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

16

Arnold Mandell.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

17

When Mandell saw a neat locker, he would predict, usually correctly, that the player was on the offensive team, liked structure and discipline, enjoyed the repetitious practice of well-designed plays, and was rather conservative. When he saw a messy locker, Mandell was generally successful in assuming that the player was on the defensive team, disliked structure, was apt to challenge rules and regulations, and would be more difficult to manage than his counterparts on the offensive team.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

18

A GOOD MODEL HELPS YOU MAKE BETTER PREDICTIONS

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

19

Models are tools for the mind.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

20

how models function: • Models identify and concentrate attention on the few really significant factors in a situation. • They enable you to interpret what you observe. They help you organize your observations so you can find new and rich meaning from data that previously would not have had much, if any, significance for you. • Models provide a reasonably accurate picture of reality despite all the data they eliminate from consideration. • They enable you to predict the probable outcome of a course of action, with the result that you are able to perform model-related functions better and faster.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

21

A people style is a cluster of habitual assertive and responsive behaviors that have a pervasive and enduring influence on one’s actions.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

22

organizational consultant,

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

23

An employer has no business with a man’s personality. Employment is a specific contract calling for a specific performance, and nothing else. Any attempt by an employer to go beyond this is usurpation. It is an immoral as well as illegal intrusion of privacy.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

24

You don’t need to probe the inner sanctum of your co-workers, friends, or loved ones to improve your relationship with them. All you need to do is better understand the behavior that’s there for you and everyone else to see. Then respond appropriately.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

25

One’s style is determined by habitual rather than occasional behaviors.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

26

people aren’t robots doing exactly the same behavior again and again. Rather, they do the same type of behavior repeatedly.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

27

assertiveness and responsiveness are two clusters of behavior that are especially important in determining a person’s style.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

28

Since you can’t change your dominant style, you’d be wise to accept and celebrate it. And because other people can’t change their dominant style, you’ll interact more effectively with them when you respect and get in sync with their natural style.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

29

There are four people styles, none of which is better or worse than any of the other styles. • The population is evenly divided among the styles. • We are all four-style people—that is, each of us has some degree of access to the characteristic behavioral tendencies of all four of the styles. • Each of us, however, has a dominant style—a set of behaviors that we’re more adept at, especially comfortable with, and use frequently.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

30

When you are dealing with people, there are no certainties—but there are significant probabilities.

People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better by Dorothy Grover Bolton and Robert Bolton

Decks in Book Notes Class (88):