What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith Flashcards
(198 cards)
1
Q
Please just use what works for you and let go the rest
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
2
Q
He has a bad habit of verbalizing any and every internal monologue in his head merely talk tonight and idea against the wall to see if it sticks when intern his employees think he’s giving them a direct command
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
3
Q
I show these people what their colleagues at work really think of them it’s called feedback it’s the only tool I need to show people
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
4
Q
A journalist once told me that the most important thing he’s learned in his career “ put a comma in the wrong place and the whole sentence is screwed up “
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
5
Q
I have a Ph.D organizational behavior from UCLA and 29 years of experience measuring and analyzing behavior in organizations
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
6
Q
My job is to make them see that the skills and habits that have taken them this far might not be the right skills and habits to take them further
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
7
Q
I train people to behave effectively in the workplace by enrolling them in a simple but brutal regimen
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
8
Q
First I solicit 360 degree feedback hunter College as many as I can talk to up down and sideways in the chain of command often including family members for a comprehensive assessment of their strengths and weaknesses
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
9
Q
The most realistic people in our society are the chronically depressed
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
10
Q
Belief number one I have succeeded
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
11
Q
On the contrary it’s because you edit out the failures and shoes instead to run the Highlight Reel of your success
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
12
Q
Two successful people past is always prolong and the past is always rose-colored
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
13
Q
Not only did he lean on his past success to maintain successful attitude but he relied on it even when his past performance was not so Rosy - for example when the evidence contradicted his self-confidence. Successful people never drink from a glass that is half empty.
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
14
Q
If you asked your colleagues to estimate their percentage contribution to the Enterprise, total will it always exceed 100%. There’s nothing wrong with this. You want to surround yourself with confidence people. If your total ever comes to less than 100%, just you find new colleagues.
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
15
Q
The least number 2 I can succeed
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
16
Q
Successful people believe they have the capability within themselves to make desirable things happen
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
17
Q
People who believe they can succeed see opportunities where others see threats.
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
18
Q
We tend to believe that success is earned through an individual’s motivation and ability even when it is not.
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
19
Q
Take the example of people who buy state lottery tickets. It is statistically factual that state-run law are regressive taxes on people who are not the highest income earners serious Lottery players tend to believe that any success is a function of luck, turn off factors, random chance. This is the opposite belief of most successful people, and why you rarely see millionaire scratching tickets.
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
20
Q
One of the greatest mistakes of successful people is the assumption, I am successful. Behave this way pure therefore, I must be successful because I behave this way! The challenge is to make them see that sometimes they are successful in spite of their behavior.
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
21
Q
Belief number 3 I will succeed
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
22
Q
If I have succeeded refers to the past and I can succeed to the present then I will succeed refers to the Future successful people have an unflappable optimism. They not only believe that they can manufacture success they believe it’s practically their do.
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
23
Q
This I will succeed belief can sabotage our chances for Success when it’s time for us to change Behavior.
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
24
Q
When the do-nothings are, why didn’t you implement the behavior change that you said you would? By far the most common what is, I meant to, but I just didn’t have time to get to it. In other words, they were over committed. It’s not that they didn’t want to change, or didn’t agree with a value of changing. They just ran out of hours in the day. They thought that they would get to it later, and later never arrived. Over-commitment can be as serious an obstacle to change as believing that you don’t need fixing or that your flaws are part of the reason you’re successful.
A
What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
25
Belief number four I choose to succeed
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
26
When we do what we choose to do we are committed when we do what we have to do we are compliant
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
27
The more we believe that our behavior is a result of our own choices and commitments, less likely we are to want to change our Behavior.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
28
It's called cognate dissidence. Refers to the disconnect between what we believe in our minds and what we experience or see in reality.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
29
Psychologically speaking superstitious Behavior comes from the mistaken belief that a specific activity that is followed by positive reinforcement is actually the cause of that positive reinforcement. The activity may be functional or not that is, it may affect someone or something else, or it may be self-contained pointless. But if something good happens after we do it, that we make a connection and seek to repeat the activity.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
30
Psychologist BF Skinner was one of the first to highlight this in inanity by showing how hungry pigeons would repeat their twitches because doing so was randomly followed by small pellets of grains. After twitching in a certain way and then immediately getting fed, pigeons learn to repeat the Twitches. They mistakenly believe that twitching by the food. Twitch they hope, and you get fat. Twitch again, eat more.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
31
Superstition is merely the confusion of correlation and causality. Any human like an animal tends to repeat behavior that is followed by positive reinforcement. The more we achieve, reinforcement week at.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
32
The difference between 6s that happens because of our Behavior, success.com in spite of our Behavior.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
33
It always happens with people caught in the Superstition trap. They cling to the notion that their success is casually linked to specific behavior, bad, responsible or risky, legitimate or inappropriate. They refuse to accept that not all good things flow to them because of the less than good things they do. Sometimes there's no casual connection at all.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
34
Virtually all of us are superstitious, watching too much value to bad behavior that was confusing Lee associated with our success.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
35
Given enough time natural relationships will develop between our businesses.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
36
What applies to desperate parts of a giant company also applies to desperate people in an organization. You can't force people to work together. You can't mandate energy. You can't manufacture Harmony, whether it's between two people or two.. You also can't order people to change their thinking or behavior. The only law that applies is natural law.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
37
People will do something including changing their behavior only if it can be demonstrated that doing so is in their best interest as defined by their own values.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
38
Successful people have very few reasons to change your behavior and lots of reasons to stick with the status quo to dance with what brought them here. Their success has showered them with positive reinforcement so they feel it smart to continue doing always done.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
39
People's resistance to change can be overcome by invoking natural law. You on even the biggest ego in the room has a hot-button that and that button is self-interest. I'll have to do is find it. Not the same thing in all people.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
40
If you press people to identify the motives behind their self interest boils down to four items money power status popularity.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
41
We spend a lot of time teaching leaders what to do we don't spend enough time teaching leaders what to stop. Half the leaders I have met don't need to learn what to do they need to learn what to stop.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
42
When was The Last Retreat you attended that was titled stupid things are top people do that need to stop doing?
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
43
The recognition and reward systems in most organizations are totally geared to acknowledge the doing of something we get credit for doing something good. Really get credit for ceasing to do something bad. Yep they are flip sides of the same coin.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
44
The funny thing about stopping some Behavior, it gets no attention but it can be as crucial as everything else we do combine.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
45
We lose this comments in the can do environment of an organization where there is no room for honoring the avoidance of a bad decision or the sea scene of a bad that behavior. Performance reviews are solely based on what we've done what numbers we delivered, increases we have posted against the last year's results. Even the seemingly minor personal goals are couch in terms of actions we've initiated, caterers we have stock.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
46
Instead of doing the usual to do list start your to stop list. We have to stop coaching all behavior in terms of positive or negative not all behavior is good or bad some of the Sith is simply neutral neither good nor bad. Paragraph if This Were a baseball team and I was a coach I'm not the guy to teach you how to hit a hanging curveball that's the hitting instructors job. I'm the coach who teaches you how to get along with your teammates how to play nice rather than how to play baseball.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
47
What we're dealing with here are challenges and interpersonal Behavior often leadership Behavior
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
48
The higher you go, more your problems are behavioral.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
49
At the higher levels of an organizational life all the leading players are technically skilled they're all smart. That's why behavioral issues become so important that the upper rungs of the corporate ladder.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
50
When people ask me if the leaders are coach can really change their behavior, answer is this as we advance in our careers behavioral changes are often the only significant changes we can make.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
51
Habit number one winning too much
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
52
There's a fine line between being competitive and over competitive, between winning when it counts and when no one's counting, and successful people cross that line with alarming frequency.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
53
Habit number two adding too much value
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
54
As an executive coach, i'm used to monitoring people's diet yes, listening with forensic intensity for clues that reveal why these otherwise accomplish people annoy their bosses,, a coordinates.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
55
The problem is you may have improved the content of my idea by 5%, but you've reduce my commitment to executing it by 50%, have you taken away my ownership of the idea. My my idea is now your idea, they walk out of your office less enthused about it than when I walked in. That's the fallacy of adding value. Whatever we gain in the form of a better idea is lost many times over and our employees. Commitment to the concept.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
56
The higher up you go in the organization, more you need to make other people winners and not make it about winning yourself.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
57
He got into the habit of taking a breath before he talk, he realize that at least half of what he was going to say wasn't worth saying. Even though he believed he could add value, he realize he had more to gain by not winning.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
58
Habit number 3 passing judgement
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
59
It's not appropriate to pass judgment when we specifically asked people to voice their opinions about us.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
60
I am Mission neutral. I don't deal an approval or disapproval. Don't judge. It's not my job to weigh in on weather you're a good person or bad person because you've decided to change a rather than be.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
61
It's the same as a medical doctor dealing with patients. If you walk into the examining room with a broken leg, dr. Pass judgement on how you broke your leg. He doesn't care if you broke your leg committing you're kicking the dog or tripping down the we're getting hit by car. He only cares about fixing your leg.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
62
For one week treat every idea that comes your way from another person with complete neutrality. Think of yourself as a human Switzerland.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
63
If you cannot self-monitor your judgmental response, hire a friend to call you out and Bill you hard cash every time you make a judgemental,
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
64
Habit number four making destructive comments.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
65
The feedback I've collected says that avoids destructive comments what are the two items with the lowest correlation between how we see ourselves and how others see us in other words we don't think we make the destructive comment but the people who know us disagree.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
66
That is the other interesting thing about destructive,. We think it is, statistically it is only a problem and 15% of my clients. Doesn't mean the other 85% of the world is not guilty of making destructive, we all make them everyday. It indicates that only 15% of us do it to the point where it is a problem with our colleagues.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
67
The fact that a destructive comment true is irrelevant. The question is not, is it true? Rather, is it worth it?
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
68
Warren Buffett advice that be you take any morally questionable action cover you should ask yourself if you want your mother to read about it in the newspaper.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
69
Habit number 5 starting with no but or however
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
70
When you start a sentence with no but however or any variation thereof, no matter how friendly your tone or how many cute mollifying phrases you throw in to acknowledge the other person's feelings, the message to the other person is you are wrong.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
71
That's true, never... Meaning you don't think it's true at all. Or yes, but.. Meaning prepare to be contradicted.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
72
Habit number 6 telling the world how smart you are
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
73
The Paradox is that this need to demonstrate how smart we are rarely hits its intended target.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
74
Being smart turns people on. Announcing how smart you are turns them off.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
75
Habit number 7 speaking when angry
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
76
Emotionally volatility is not the most reliable leadership tool. When you get angry, are usually out of control.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
77
A Buddhist Legend tells of a young farmer who is covered with sweat as he paddled his boat up the river. He was going Upstream to deliver his produce to the Village. He was in a hurry. Is a hot day and he wanted to make his delivery and get home before dark as he looked ahead, he spied another vessel, rapidly down toward his boat. This vessel seem to be making every effort to hit him. He rode frivolously to get out of the way, but it didn't seem to help.
he yelled at the other vessel change direction,! You are going to hit me. The river is wide. Careful! His screaming was to no avail. The other vessel hit his boat with a sickening thud. He was enraged as he stood up and cried out to the other vessel, you moron! How could you manage to hit my boat in the middle of this wide river? What is wrong with you?
As he looked at the other vessel, realize that there was no one in the boat. He was screaming at an empty vessel that had broken free of its Moorings and was going Downstream with the current. Line the lesson is simple. There is never anyone in the other boat. When we are angry, screaming at an empty vessel.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
78
Getting angry does not improve the situation and Life's too short to waste on feeling bad.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
79
Habit number 8, let me explain why that won't work.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
80
If negativity is your flaw, first impulse would be to have you monitor your statements the moment someone offers you a helpful suggestion. If you have read this far, you know that I firmly believe that paying attention to what we say is a great indicator of what we're doing to turn people off.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
81
Haven't number 9 withholding information
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
82
Intentionally withholding information is the opposite of adding value.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
83
His work life was a haphazard fire drill. He was so distracted, so disorganized, so busy responding to calls and put it out fires that he never had time to sit down with his assistant or a daily debriefing.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
84
Habit number 10, failing to give proper recognition
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
85
If you really want to take people off, recognize their contributions.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
86
It is a Hallmark of successful people: They become great Achievers because they're intense focus on themselves. Their career, their performance, the progress, her needs. But there's a difference between being an achiever and a leader. Successful people become great leaders when they learn to shift the focus from themselves to others.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
87
Habit number 11 claiming credit that we didn't deserve
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
88
When someone you work with steals the credit for a success that you created, they are commits the most rage-inducing interpersonal crime in the workplace.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
89
There is no time the group can achieve when no one cares who gets the credit.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
90
Haven't number 12 making excuses
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
91
There simply is no excuse for making excuses.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
92
When you hear yourself saying, i'm sorry I'm late but the traffic was murder, stop talk afterwards sorry.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
93
I like to divide excuses into two categories Blunt and subtle.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
94
The most subtle excuses of pure when we attribute our feelings to some inherited DNA that is permanently lodged within us. We talk about ourselves as if we have permanent genetic flaws that can never be altered.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
95
Haven't number 13 clinging to the Past
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
96
There is a school of thought among psychologist and behavioral Consultants that we can understood a lot about our current behavior by delving into our past, particularly Our Family dynamics. This is a school that believes, when it's hysterical its historical.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
97
I don't have much patience with therapy that clings to the Past, because going backwards is not about creating change. It's about understanding.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
98
I reach into my pocket for a coin and said, here's a quarter call someone who cares.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
99
Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with understanding. Understanding the pass is perfectly admissible if your issue is accepting the pass. But if your issue is changing the future, understanding will not take you there. My experience tells me that the only effective approach is looking people in the eye and saying, if you want to change do this.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
100
It takes me a long time to convince them that they can't do anything about the past. I can't change it, write it, make excuses for it. All they can do is accept it and move on.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
101
But for some reason, people enjoy living in the past, especially if going back there let them blame someone else for anything that's gone wrong in their lives. That's when clinging to the Past becomes an interpersonal problem. We use the past as a weapon against others. Paragraph habit number 14 playing favorites
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
102
I asked them, at home who gets most of your unabashed affection? Is it a your husband, wife or partner be your kids or see your dog? More than 80% of time the winner is the dog. And then ask Executives if they love their dogs more than their family members the answer is always a predictable but resoundingly know. Follow up, so why does a dog get most of your attention? The replies all sound the same the dog is always happy to see me. The dog never talks back. The dog gives me unconditional love, no matter what I do. In other words the dog is a suck-up
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
103
Haven't number 15 refusing to express regret
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
104
Whatever the reasons, refusing to apologize cause as much l will in the workplace and at home as any other interpersonal flaw. Paragraph if you look back at a tattered relationship in your life I suspect many of them began to fray at the precise moment when one of you couldn't some of the emotional intelligence to say, sorry.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
105
Ben Franklin said, to gain a friend, let him do your favor.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
106
Apologizing is one of the most powerful and resonant gestures in the human Arsenal, almost as powerful as a declaration of love. It is I love you flipped on its head. If love means, care about you and I'm happy about you, set an apology means, I hurt you and I'm sorry about that.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
107
The best thing about apologizing, I tell my clients, is that it forces everyone to let go of the past. In effect, you saying, can't change the past all I can do is say I'm sorry for what I did wrong. I'm sorry I hurt you. There's no excuse for it and I will try to do better in the future I would like for you to give me any idea about how I can improve.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
108
That is the Magic in the process. You declare your dependence on others, I usually agree to help. And during the course of making you a better person, they inevitably try to become better themselves. This is how individuals change, teams and Prue, asians grow, and how companies become world-beaters.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
109
Habit number 16 not listening
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
110
The reality for leaders of the past and leaders in the future is that in the past very bright people would put up with disrespectful Behavior, but in the future they will leave!
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
111
Habit number 17 failing to Express gratitude
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
112
Habit number 18 punishing the messenger
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
113
If your goal is to stop people from giving you input, of all kinds, perfect your reputation for shooting the messenger. On the other hand, if your goal is to stop this bad habit, all you need to say is, thank you.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
114
Habit number 19 passing the buck
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
115
Passing the buck is a dark flipside of claiming credit that others deserve. Instead of depriving others of the rightful glory for a success, wrongfully saddle them with the shame of our failure.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
116
The irony of course is that infallibility is a myth. No one expects us to be right all the time. but when were wrong, they certainly expect us to own up to it. In that sense, wrong is an opportunity, opportunity to show what kind of person and leader we are.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
117
Habit number 20 and excessive need to be me
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
118
If we always express our opinion, no matter how hurtful or noncontributory it may be, we are exercising our right to be me.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
119
It's an interesting equation, left me. More them. Call success.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
120
Goal obsession is the force that play when we get so wrapped up in achieving our goal that we do it at the expense of a larger mission.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
121
Are quest for a successful outcome may end up do more harm than good to our organization, families, ourselves.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
122
What are the most iconic examples of goal Obsession was the Good Samaritan research done darley and Batson at Princeton in 1973.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
123
If you step back and look at most of these interpersonal flaws they revolve around too familiar information and emotion.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
124
The journalist and novelist Tom Wolfe has a theory he called information compulsion. He said that people have an overwhelming need to tell you something that you don't know, even when it's not in their best interest.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
125
Confidential 360-degree feedback the best way for successful people to identify what they need to improve and their relationships at work.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
126
We accept feedback that is consistent with our own self image and reject feedback that is inconsistent.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
127
When I work with a coaching client I always get company back from many of my clients coworker the beginning of the process. The fewest I have ever interviewed is 8, this 31. The average is about 15. Paragraph each interview last about an hour and focuses on the basics, what is my client doing right, my client needs to change, how my already successful client can get even better.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
128
Before commit are let go of the past. Tell the truth. Be supportive and helpful, cynical and negative. Pick something to improve yourself, so everyone is focused more on improving than judging.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
129
As a friend wisely noted, forgiveness means letting go of the hope for a better future.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
130
I wanted the folks filling out the first report card to fill out all the report cards. It would make the results more valid and credible.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
131
This is a rich and subtle dynamic, proving that change is not a one-way. It involves two parties, person who's changing and the person who noticed it.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
132
Getting feedback is the easy part dealing with it is hard.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
133
You asked for my opinion, now you are arguing with me.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
134
Treat every piece of advice as a gift or a compliment and simply say thank you. No one expects you to act on every piece of advice. If you learn to listen, act on the advice that may thanks, the people around you may be thrilled.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
135
The questions are simple does the executive in question clearly communicate a vision. Treat people with respect. Solicit contrary opinions. encourage other people's ideas. Listen to other people in meetings.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
136
It is the Bedrock thesis of this book, interpersonal behavior is the Difference Maker between being great and near great, between getting the gold and settling for bronze. The higher you go, or your issues are behavioral.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
137
Feedback comes to us and three forms, I said, unsolicited, an observational.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
138
The best solicited feedback if confidential feedback.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
139
Pure unadulterated issue free feedback that makes change possible has to a solicited advice rather than criticism BB directed towards the future rather than obsessed with a negative past and see the coached in a way that suggest you will act on it, that in fact you are trying to do better.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
140
Psychologists have all sorts of schemata to explain us to ourselves. What are the more interesting one is a simple for paying grid known as Johari window named after two real characters Joe and Harry. It divides are self-aware for parts, based on what is known and Unknown about us to other people and what is known and Unknown about us to ourselves.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
141
It is a whole lot easier to see our problems and others than it is to see them in ourselves.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
142
Even though we may be able to deny our problems to ourselves, they may be very obvious to the people who are observing us.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
143
Some of the best feedback comes you observe.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
144
5 ways you can get feedback by paying closer attention to the world around you.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
145
1) make a list of people's casual remarks about you.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
146
2) turn off sound. Sometimes I have clients conductor exercise when they're in the team and starting to get bored, time to Pretend they're watching a movie with the sound off. They can't hear what anyone is saying. They must ask themselves what's going on around them.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
147
3) complete the sentence. Pick one thing that you want to get better at. It could be anything that matters to you, getting in shape to giving more recognition to lowering your golf handicap. Then list the positive benefits that will occur to you and the world if you achieve the goal for example I want to get in better shape. If I get in better shape one benefit to me is.. And then you will complete the sentence.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
148
4) listen to yourself aggrandizing remarks. In one of those odd bits of reverse psychology, it seems that the stock people boast about as their strengths more often than not turn out to be the most egregious weaknesses. Self deprecation, be one of those honest feedback moments that makes a signal sound in our brain, pay attention, tells us. Is might be something worth observing.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
149
5) look Homeward. She had some competitive fires burning within his soul that made him treat people like gravel in a driveway. They were the Pebbles, she was the SUV. In meetings they saw that there was no toll between Mike's brain and his mouth. The lesson your flaws at work don't when you walk through the front door at home. Moral anybody can change but they have to want to change, sometimes you can deliver that message by reaching people where they live, where they work.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
150
Feedback tells us what to change, how to do it. But when you know what to change, are ready to start changing yourself and how people perceive you. You're ready for the next step, everyone you're sorry.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
151
I regard apologizing as the most magical, healing, restorative gesture human beings can make.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
152
The apology gave him and the people he was addressing a sense of closure, however faint and bitterness. Closure lets you move forward.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
153
Has Boston Celtics coach Red Auerbach used to say about coaching his players, it's not what you say, what you hear.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
154
When it comes to apologizing, only Sound Advice is get in and get out as quickly as possible.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
155
I tell my clients, is a lot harder to change people's perception of your behavior then it is to change your behavior. In fact I calculate that you have to get 100% better in order to get 10% credit for it from your coworker.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
156
Truly great wines, which can last for decades and 10 and tend to improve with age, go through a dumb period where the wine goes to sleep for a few years and then wakes up and improves dramatically in the bottle. It happens anywhere from age 6 to 18 years, depending on the wine.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
157
Jack Nicholas said that 80% of a successful golf shot begins with a proper grip and how you stand over the ball. Other words, success is almost a foregone conclusion before you exert one muscle.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
158
There are three things that all good listeners do, they think before they speak. Listen with respect. And they are always gauging their response by asking themselves, is it worth it?
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
159
Asking is it worth it forces you to consider what the other person will feel after hearing your response. It forces you to play at least two moves ahead.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
160
What impressed me was that when he asked the question, he waited for the answer. He not only listen, he made me feel like I was the only person in the room.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
161
I asked them to close their eyes and count slowly 250 with one simple goal: Can't let another thought intrude into their mind. They must concentrate on maintaining the count.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
162
The more you subsume your desire to shine, are you will shine in the other person's eye.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
163
Writing a thank you note forces you to confront The Humbling fact that you have nots achieve your success alone. you had help along the way.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
164
There is an enormous disc between understanding and doing.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
165
people don't get better without follow-up.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
166
The Hawthorne effect posits that productivity tends to increase when workers believe that their bosses are showing a greater interest and involvement in their work.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
167
Becoming a better leader or a better person is a process, at an event
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
168
When you involve other people in your continuing progress, you are virtually guaranteeing your continuing success.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
169
You're only criteria for picking a coach are, one it shouldn't be a chore for your coach to get in touch with you. You never want to have some technical problem as an excuse for not following up. Too, coach should be interested in your life and have your best interests at heart. You don't want someone yawning through your check list as you answer whether you floss or remember to take your vitamins. 3, coach can only ask the prescribed questions, he or she cannot judge your answers.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
170
Instead of rehashing a past that cannot be changed, feed-forward encourages you to spend time creating a future by a) asking for suggestions for the future, be) listening to ideas, see) just saying thank you.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
171
Two monks were strolling by a stream on their way home to the monastery. They were startled by the sound of a young woman at a bridal gown, by the Stream, and softly. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she gazed across the water. I needed to cross to get to her wedding, but she was fearful that doing so might ruin her beautiful handmade gown. In this particular sect, books were prohibited from touching women. But one monk was filled with compassion for the bride. Ignoring the sanction mikey hoisted the woman on his shoulders and carried her across the Stream, in her journey and saving the gown. She smiled and filed with gratitude as the monks flashes way back across the stream to join His companion.
The second monk was livid. How could you do that? Golden you know we are forbidden to touch a woman much as pick one up and carry her around!
Defending monk listed in silence to a stern lecture that lasted all the way back to the monastery his mind wandered as he felt the warm sunshine and listen to the singing birds have to return it to the monastery, sleep for a few hours. He was jolstad and awakened in the middle of the night by his fellow a month. How could you carry that woman? Is agitated friend cried out. Someone else could have helped her across the Stream. Bad Monk. What woman? he inquired. Don't you even remember? That woman you care to cross the Stream, is colic snap.
Oh her, the Sleepy Monk. I only carried her across the stream you carried her all the way back to the monastery.
The learning point is simple, comes to are flawed past leave it at the Stream.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
172
Race car drivers are taught, the road not the wall.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
173
If I have the right people around me, fine. I have the wrong people, god can win with that hand.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
174
I make it easy on myself. Don't play sucker bets. I only work with clients who have an extremely high potential for succeeding.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
175
If you study successful people, discover that their stories are not so much about overcoming enormous obstacles and handicaps but rather about avoiding high risk, ward situations and doing everything in the in their power to increase the odds in their favor.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
176
The following seven rules will help you get a better handle on the process of change.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
177
Rule number 1 you might not have a disease that behavioral change can cure. Sometimes we confuse interpersonal problems with something else.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
178
Sometimes feedback reveals a symptom not a disease
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
179
Rule number 2 picking the right thing to change.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
180
The difference is one of wanting and choosing. And I don't get involved in the wanting part. My business. To weigh opinion on an individual's goal in life would mean passing a value judgment on her reason for living. Don't do that.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
181
So I spend serious time with people helping them decide what they need to change.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
182
in golf, it is, system that 70% of all shots take place within 100 yards of the PIN. It's called the short game, involves pitching, chipping, hitting out of sand traps, honey. If you want to lower your score, send fixing your short game: It represents at least 70% of your score. Yeah if you go to the golf course you'll see very few people practicing their short game. They are all at the driving range trying to hit their oversized drivers as far as they can. Statistically, does not make sense because over the course of 18 holes, the only neither Drive 14 times at most wear as they will pull out their short irons and Putters at least 50 times.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
183
Rule number three don't delude yourself about what you really must change
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
184
I've learned that there are five reasons people do not succeed with their diet and fitness goal. They mistake estimate number one) time it takes a lot longer than they expected. Don't have time to do it 2) effort it's harder than they expected, it's not worth all the effort. 3) distractions they do not expect a crisis to emerge that will prevent them from stained with the program. 4) rewards after they see some improvement they don't get the response from others that they expected. People don't immediately love the new improved person they become. 5) maintenance once they hit their goal people forget how hard it is to stay in shape. Not expecting that they'll have to with a program for life, they slowly back slide or give up completely.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
185
Rule number four don't hide from the truth you need to hear
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
186
Rule Number 5 there is no ideal behave. The perfect Benchmark human behavior, perfect Benchmark organization, does not exist.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
187
This is not a license for mediocracy. Reality check. Is your permission to deal and trade-offs pick one thing to improve upon rather than everything.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
188
Even in my narrow profession of executive coaching, I further narrowed my vision to one thing: People achieve long-term positive behavioral change. I don't do strategy, innovation. I don't do coaching information technology or industrial psychology the list of what I don't do could feel several dozen books. I can live with that, the chosen to try to be the best I can in my admittedly narrow corner of the coaching fiefdom.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
189
Statistically, do you get better at axe, everything else get better, I have 20000 feed reports confirming this.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
190
Rule number 6 if you can measure it you can achieve it.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
191
Everything is measurable if we are clever enough to see that it needs measuring and we devise a way to track it.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
192
I found that if I measured the activity I was much more likely to do it.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
193
Rule number 7 monetize a result created solution. You can monetize the punishment and end the problem. Or you can monetize a result and create a solution. Either way it works.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
194
Rule Number 8 the best time to change is now
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
195
I have learned a hard lesson trying to help real people, change real behavior in the real world. There is no couple weeks. Look at the trend line! Sanity does not prevail. There's a good chance that tomorrow is going to be just as crazy as today. If you want to change anything about yourself, time to start is now. Self, what am I willing to change now? Do that. That's more than enough for now.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
196
for years one of the most popular talk radio programs in the US has been Imus in the Morning with Don Imus.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
197
You cannot take it seriously. You will know I've serious only what I say the following six words: You have to stop that now. Everything else is Jive.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
198
Don't misinterpret this cool to me I mean that I don't care. Care-A-Lot I only expect one thing from you: I want do as much of my job as you can handle. The less I have to do the better. Do that and we will succeed magnificently together.
What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
