Commitment (long and short definitions).
The intention to maintain a relationship over time. More simply, “us” with a future.
Commitment is thought of as the ___ to give up other ___.
Who studied commitment?
Scott Stanley et al.
All the forces that increase the desire to maintain a relationship.
All of the forces that make it more difficult to end a relationship.
Dedication is the ___ ___ in commitment.
Constraint is the ___ ___ in commitment.
Dedication is more closely associated with ___ and constraint relates more to ___ in relationships.
Examples of dedication.
Wanting to share the future together, the sex is good, having a couple identity, willingness to sacrifice for the partner and the relationship, love.
Examples of constraint.
Family expects you to stay together, shared identity, religious beliefs against divorce, having a pet together.
Internal or external forces that encourage partners to stay together.
What are some perceived constraints?
Social pressure, the sense that you have made substantial investments that would be lost, ending a relationship would be difficult, lacking better alternatives (subjective).
Specific, tangible resources couples share.
What are some material constraints?
Having a lease, sharing debt, buying furniture, having a pet, planned for a future vacation (objective).
Commitment theory is a sub-theory of ___ ___ theory.
Sense of feeling trapped in a relationship - “I would leave my partner if it wasn’t so difficult to do so.”
___ constraint is the only aspect of constraint that predicts relationship dissolution.
___ constraint also predicts being in a relationship with physical violence.
___ is what gets us to commit, ___ keep us there.
What are the two aspects of commitment?
What is the most important function of commitment?
Constraint is/isn’t a negative thing.
Constraint does not have to be a negative thing.
Constraint is ___ as relationships progress.
Constraints don’t feel constraining until ___ with the relationship is low.
Constraints help explain why ___ quality relationships persist.
Constraints stabilize ___ quality relationships that have periods of unhappiness.
Being committed to a relationship has a drastic impact on relationship ___ behaviours.
Professor Johnson attends ballets because it provides ___ ___ benefit.
More commitment leads to more…
Sacrifices, satisfaction with sacrifices, and willingness to sacrifice.
Satisfaction with ___ is one of the strongest predictors of future relationship satisfaction.
___ signals commitment.
___ are more likely to view sacrifice for a partner to be harmful to them.
What is the central function of commitment?
Formation of romantic relationships.
Commitment allows us to ___ ___ ___.
Secure romantic attachment.
When we think about what we could lose with a person, we get anxious. To resolve this anxiety by ___.
What is the highest level of commitment in western societies?
In order for commitment to serve its purpose of securing romantic attachment, to must ___ in both partners and be ___ between the partners.
One’s personal dedication to a partner will lead to ___ that signal commitment.
Give examples of emblems of commitment.
Spending time together, going on dates, gifts, flowers, chocolates, etc.
There are culturally endorsed emblems of commitment that have stronger ___ ___.
Give examples of strong culturally endorsed emblems of commitment.
Wearing another’s class ring, being “pinned,” sharing letter jackets.
Today, there are ___ emblems of commitment.
Give an example of a emblem of commitment in today’s society.
Engagement rings (although they are on the decline).
Emblems are important because they show not just your partner, but…
Also everyone else that you are in a relationship.
Fewer emblems mean that there is ___ ___ of commitment levels from each partner.
What social practices lead to greater miscommunication of commitment levels?
Hooking up and cohabitation.
Fewer emblems mean that ___ are not sent out that one is in a relationship.
There is increased ___ as a result of fewer emblems.
There is a strong perception that ___ are more scared of commitment than ___.
Who is more committed in a marriage?
Men are as committed as women.
Men are ___ committed to the idea of marriage than women.
___ derive more benefits from marriage.
___ commit and start sacrificing earlier in relationships.
Why do women commit in relationships first?
- Socialization, where women are more attuned to relationships, and invest in them earlier.
- Biology, where oxytocin impacts women more dramatically than men.
When in the middle of overlapping trajectories, who are the losers and why?
Women, because there is a large disparity.
Men resist commitment because…
Of what marriage means to them.
What does marriage mean to men?
- Drastic changes in behaviour and responsibility.
- Greater amount of personal sacrifice.
- Women don’t report same level of change.
Men are more ___ driven and women are more ___ driven.
Women and men view marriage, relationships, and commitment somewhat ___.
Where are the greatest differences in the way men and women vies marriage, relationships, and commitment?
Timing and trajectories.
People must be ___/___ in their communication of intentions.
Romantic relationships have their own form of inertia.
According to inertia theory, once in a relationship, this entails being increasingly intertwined in each other’s life. How does this happen typically?
- Casual dating.
- Exclusive dating.
- Live together.
In inertia theory, there is a natural progression of increasing ___.
As relationships progress, constraints ___ increase, while dedication ___ increase.
The combination of inertia and constraints causing people to continue progressing in relationships that would end if it was not so hard to do so.
In cohabitation, many cohabiters ___ into marriage not because they want to, but because it is the path of least resistance.
What is the “cohabitation effect?”
Getting married because it is the easiest path to take.
Is it better to live together then get married, or to live apart then get married?
Live apart, as there is no sliding effect. However, if you are engaged first, there is no effect if you live together.
Outline a lower risk sequence.
- Inertia & Constraint.
Outline a higher risk sequence.
- Interti & Constraint.
Why is sliding so bad?
You lose options before making a choice.
Healthy commitment involves ___ ___ constraints.
Sliding is bad because it generates ___ before ___ is full developed.
What protects us from our feeling constrained?
The implication of inertia theory is by being intentional and ___ that you want a relationship to progress, rather than ___ into increased involvement.
What is the difference between deciding and sliding?
Deciding is an active process, while sliding is a passive process.